@TheBrazman tweeteth

Senator Patrick Brazeau (right) being punched in the head by Liberal MP Justin Trudeau at a charity boxing match in March 2012.

Politicians and journalists have long had a scrappy relationship but Senator Patrick Brazeau — last seen in the public eye being pummeled by reedy Parliamentarian sex symbol Justin Trudeau — took it to a strange new level this week after calling Canadian Press reporter Jennifer Ditchburn a word that rhymes with ditch but isn’t witch. Or even snitch, which would have at least been sort of apt given her profession.

The 37-year-old Harper-appointee and university drop-out took exception after Ditchburn wrote a story pointing out he had the lowest attendance among all sitting (snoozing?) senators and was AWOL from his $132,000-a-year-job a good 25 per cent of the time. Her story prompted the outraged senator-for-life to tweet: “while u smile Jen, others suffer. Change the D to a B in your last name and we’re even! Don’t mean it but needs saying.”

Canadian Press reporter Jennifer Ditchburn, smiling.

The Hon. Brazeau later apologized after the Canadian corner of the Twittersphere erupted with a level of mockery not seen since Public Health and Safety Minister Vic Toews asked permission to spy on everyone’s Internet activity. He also cited unspecified “personal reasons” for his frequent absences.

Still, the self-styled Brazman should get some credit for coining the term “don’t mean it but needs saying” – quite possibly the best preemptive excuse for ill-conceived douchebaggery since Kanye West’s immortal “I’mma let you finish.”

Or then again on the other hand, maybe Brazeau doesn’t think Ditchburn really is a bitch at all but, being a federal politician, he felt obliged to lie anyway.

(This post was first published in Kudos & Kvetches  © Copyright (c) Vancouver Courier)

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